How to be a Complete Pest

Author: Priscilla Paddypaws, Chair, Etticat Department, Felinia University

There are many ways to master Pestilence. One of my favorites is very easy to accomplish. I enjoy going for walks outside, but my human isn't always agreeable to my requests. So, I just hang around by the door. Like all day. When they open it, I'm right there! Ready to squeeze out as soon as the door opens just a crack. Since my humans operate on guilt, I they usually comply and get my fancy jacket ready, even if they had something else to do.

Doors are prime targets for pestering. When they open the sliding glass door out to the screen porch, I make a point of sitting on the threshhold. Half of me inside, half of me outside. "Hey, the air conditioning is going out the door' they yell. Ha, ha - yep is sure is going to cost them a lot of money.

A new one that I have developed is called 'Spiritual Interruption' - my human just took up a meditation practise, or tried to - Ha, Ha! As soon as they sit down, I'm right there with the wet nose on the hand trick. Come on, people, I need some scritches. That usually shuts down their session right away. Fun!