Humans have this idea that Fang Shui is about where the big stuff is. Fortunately, cats have retained the Wise Cat traditions and know that this is a total corruption!!! They should pay more attention to cats!!! The original word was 'Fang' Shui, you idiots!

So here's a little tutorial for our intellectually challenged, historically ignorant friends.

1. Enough with moving the furniture around! We don't appreciate that AT ALL, got it?!? We want our sofa where our sofa is supposed to be, our chairt where our chair is supposed to be and most importantly, STOP with 'making up' the bed. That just ruins the Fang Shui of the whole room. There is nothing cozier than a bunch of sheets and blankets all piled up randomly, with the pillow on top.

2. The same goes for the food dish and the water dish - do you realize how frustrating it is to arrive at the food spot and find the dish isn't there? Pleeeeze - think about things before you screw them up.

3. Lastly, but MOST IMPORTANT - don't move the kitty litter box!!! As cats, we are accustomed to leaving subtle reminders when you break the rules - just to let you know. But most humans seem to be complete idiots and can't seem to figure out why we don't like to mount an exploratory expedition every time we need to 'go'.

Those 3 simple rules should be easy enough to follow, but alas, very few households can maintain even these basic standards of proper Fang Shui. Your challenge is to bring back the Wise Cat Traditions and apply it to your own living space. Even humans can become enlightened with a little help.